Pros
Pros for baby:
- Time with mommy and daddy is really fun because they are calm and so am I
- Nap/sleep time is relaxing and even anticipated
- No more over-tired tantrums
- Nice full tummy before naps because my eating times are properly monitored
- Lots of cuddle time, story time and singing time with mommy and daddy
- REALLY good sleep!
- Waking up full of energy for the day ahead
- Feeling more alert
- Feeling secure in the routine.
Pros for the individual parent:
You will be a much happier, rested, more balanced person:
- You’ll have the energy and time to be spontaneous again. To be sexy, fun, spend time with your partner, etc.
- You won’t be suffering from a lack of balance anymore. You’ll have the time for proper relaxation, me time, exercise, sleep, diet, intellectual stimulation, etc.
- No more feelings of being out of control
- You will be calmer knowing you are meeting all baby’s needs
- Your relationship with your baby will improve
- Your relationship with your partner will improve
- Your relationship with your other children will improve
- Your relationships with your friends will improve
- Your work life will improve.
Pros for the couple:
It can bring you and your partner closer!
Provides an opportunity for you and your partner to work together towards the same goal and to both enjoy the benefits. You both want:
- A healthy, happy baby who is getting the right amount of sleep for his age so he can develop in the way he is meant to
- To enjoy this precious time with baby and not resent it
- To be well rested too
- To enjoy each other’s company with and without baby (date night, intimate time, etc.)
- To socialise independently with friends and family (boys night, etc.)
- To go on family holidays – and enjoy it!
- To be able to go away together from time to time and not have to worry about how baby is doing as she is in such a contented routine. So much easier for granny or aunty to manage
- To drop baby off at a family member for the night for a sleepover and not stress about whether baby will settle.
Cons
- Baby’s needs are different to your needs therefore can interfere with life as you know/knew it
- Losing one’s independence and ability to be spontaneous
- Getting your partner on-board
- Witnessing your baby struggle to adapt
- Adapting baby’s extra-curricular activity classes
Point 1, 2 and 3: Baby’s needs are different to your needs/Losing one’s independence and ability to be spontaneous/Getting your partner on-board
(I’m putting these three categories together as chances are the partner isn’t on board (or you aren’t on board) because you’re worried about losing your independence and ability to be spontaneous due to baby’s needs.)
Unfortunately there’s no way to pussy-foot your way around this one: your little person needs a different schedule from you. It’s just a matter of learning to build your schedule around that.
The thing is, I am a reputable sleep consultant who knows this and will take all aspects of your life and your family’s life into consideration. A good consultant knows and understands that we ALL have needs. All these needs will be factored into your unique programme.
Remember the goal here: We want to get baby sleeping properly so he is well rested so he can be healthy and he can grow up fit and strong – physically and mentally. He needs to do this in the RIGHT environment.
When I say environment I don’t only mean his room, his cot, the darkness of the room, etc. I also mean the environment that comes directly from the general atmosphere of the home. If the carers of the child are unhappy, then the household is unhappy. No one thrives in a stressful environment where there is angst. Therefore it is to baby’s benefit that the people who live in his home are also balanced, rested and content.
Your sleep consultant should encourage ‘me time’ for the parents.
Not only is this essential, it is, in fact, the very best part. You can go and enjoy your own activities knowing you have a contented baby.
The best way to dive into putting one’s mind at ease regarding this subject is to give you a testimony from one of my clients:
“I can’t believe how our lives have changed. In just a few days of sleep training, we feel like we have our lives back! We have so many hours for ourselves in the evening now. For fun we added all these hours up and it equates to 14 days a year of ‘us’ time. This is what our financial investment equates to directly. It is like buying a two-week holiday!”
I can’t put it much better than that!
Parents are so determined to get on with their adult lives that they tend to treat their child like an adult. They drag them along wherever they go. “This is what I want to do therefore my child must do it too.”
A child needs A LOT of sleep. Many parents take advantage of this by getting baby to sleep in the car while they’re driving around. What I like to say is that sleep on the go is much like junk food. It does the trick but it’s not the best, most restful, good quality sleep. What’s more – it will come back to bite you when baby has only been taught to sleep in the car, or in her buggy.
For those who are trying to get through these baby and toddler years on YOUR schedule, tell me, how’s it going for you? How free to live your life are you feeling? What are the fatigue levels like?
I’m going to hazard a guess that since you’re reading this blog right now that it’s not going so well.
If you are so worried about losing your ‘freedom’ as an adult, then what on earth are you waiting for? Quickly! The sooner you get started, the sooner you can start living again!
4. Witnessing your baby struggle to adapt
I’ve written two detailed blogs on the subject of parents dealing with the aspect of sleep training where baby might protest while making changes (see links below).
There is a common misconception that parents think the ‘cry-it-out’ method is an assumed part of a sleep training routine for their baby or toddler.
I go to great lengths to tell my clients that my approach is NOT cry-it-out.
I am a parent and I would NEVER have attempted sleep training – nor enjoyed the rewards thereof – if it involved something as scary-sounding as ‘cry-it-out’.
My approach involves the ‘check-in’ and it does account for some amount of protesting which can be translated into a bit of fussiness and a small amount of crying at times.
To find out more on this subject see the following links:
5. Adapting baby’s extra-curricular activity classes
This is something a lot of my clients find themselves having to deal with while we’re having our chats. The thing is, as any experienced sleep consultant will tell you, you’ll be wasting your money on these classes anyway because if his sleep is being compromised (naps short or delayed) he’s not going to get value out of it anyway.
You have one of three choices here:
- Go ahead and honour your financial choices and complete the various courses you’ve paid for before we start on a sleep training programme. Just remember the point I made above: forcing your baby through the day when they are tired is futile, no matter what activity is on the go.
- Some organisations may appreciate what you are trying to do and might ‘hold’ baby’s spot till a later stage when baby is a little older and when she need less sleep. Or, they might be able to rather slot baby in at a different time that suits the sleep routine.
- Forgo the payment and write it off as an initial loss that will be made back ten- and twentyfold within a few weeks (if that) when the whole family is calm, collected, balanced and well rested.
Special note: A good sleep training consultant and a specialised programme is ESPECIALLY for those parents out there who are battling with idea of sleep training. We can help you ‘get back to yourself’. It is essential for baby that you are happy.
If you have questions, please have a FREE chat with me by clicking on Discovery Call. I’d love to share my knowledge with you. Not only will I put your mind at ease, I want you to get excited at the freedom you can expect to embark on WITH your beautiful baby.
Love
Alison.